Worst Mommy Moments

In a previous post, Mother Goose made a comment that at times she feels like she fails desperately at being a mother. I too have felt this way many, many times. After reading her comment, it reminded me of a relief society lesson where the teacher asked ahead of time for us to admit our worst mommy moments and then she read them anonymously. So I am now confessing mine. MAJOR CONFESSION TIME.

When my son, who is on mission, was a little boy he said some word or made some noise that was inappropriate ( I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS NOW!) and wouldn't stop. I tried everything. Ignoring him, rewarding him positively when he wasn't doing whatever it was that was bothering me, but he wouldn't stop.

One day I was telling a friend about my terrible, awful, horrible problem and she said that when her kids do things like that, that she puts a drop of tabasco sauce on their tongue. That was it! I WAS GOING TO DO IT! (Forgive me Father, for I have sinned) That night, just like clockwork, off goes my son. I took the bottle of tabasco sauce and was going to put a drop on his tongue and you know the little plastic thing in the bottle that keeps it from pouring out? Well, it fell out and I ended up pouring massive amounts of tabasco sauce into my little boy's mouth. He started screaming and gagging and crying and I started BAWLING! His mouth was on fire (I am crying now just thinking about it)
and we ran to the kitchen to get some water and some ice.

WHAT KIND OF MOTHER WAS I? WHAT KIND OF MOTHER DOES THAT TO HER LITTLE SON? Well, I found out later that this friend who suggested this torture in the first place, would put just a dab on her finger and then put it on their tongue. She neglected to tell me about that minor detail the first time.

Boy, did I feel like a failure. I had failed miserably and it still bothers me to this day. But it has now turned into my son's favorite thing to tease me about. We actually have this "tabasco" connection with each other. For years, every Christmas I would buy him a Tabasco tie. He has tabasco boxers, shirts, cups, you name it. It is now a very special thing between us. I tease him that he is a HOTTIE! Except no Tabasco ties on his mission. But I will have on ready for him when he gets home!

I have failed miserably as a mother many times since then although probably not quite as bad as this. But here is a scripture that gives me hope: D&C 117: 12-13

12 And again, I say unto you, I remember my servant Oliver Granger; behold, verily I say unto him that his name shall be had in sacred remembrance from generation to generation, forever and ever, saith the Lord.

13 Therefore, let him contend earnestly for the redemption of the First Presidency of my Church, saith the Lord; and when he falls he shall rise again, for his sacrifice shall be more sacred unto me than his increase, saith the Lord.

In verse 13 it states "WHEN HE FALLS". Not IF he falls, not MAYBE he will fall, not he MIGHT fall, but WHEN he falls. Our Heavenly Father knows that we are not perfect and that WE ARE GOING TO FAIL MISERABLY. But in verse 13 it also states that he will "RISE AGAIN". There's our challenge. After we feel that we have not been the best mother or the best wife or the best friend, or the best daughter or the best member of the church, we need to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and try again. BECAUSE in verse 12 the Lord states that Oliver's name "shall be had in sacred remembrance from generation to generation.

As mothers in Israel if we have done our best I too believe that our names will be held in sacred remembrance from generation to generation. Even if we do have an affinity for tabasco sauce!

Okay moms, time to fess up. What is the WORST thing you have done as a mom?

There's no place like home and this post is for you Shaila and my last notes on Education Week and the longest title of a post you have ever seen!

Gosh, there is no place like home. It's always fun to have some place to go but it is even better when it is time to come home. I came home to a mountain load of work and had to work overtime this week but it's good to be back. And now it's time to catch up with blogging!

Shaila has kindly asked (more than once I'm embarassed to say) for me to post about the last class that I attended at Ed. Week. It was my favorite of all of the classes that I went to. It was one given by Michael S. Wilcox and it was about how to have a more zion like society.

Brother Wilcox based his talk on Romans chapter 14 and especially this verse: 3 Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him.

He talked about how the members of the church that were eating meat despised those who did not eat meat and those who did not eat meat judged those who were eating meat. He said that Paul had a letter signed by all the apostles stating that is was alright to eat meat and that Paul could have just shown that letter to all involved but Paul wanted the people to think and to learn a lesson by persuading them to choose the right instead of just telling them to.

He then talked about that there are things in the church that are black and white that we know we must do and that are commandments. But then he talked about those things in the church that are more grey areas and are not really so-called "commandments". And with those "grey areas" there are those who "despise" those who don't do them and there are those in the church who "judge" those who do. When he has given this talk in a classroom setting, he has asked his class to discuss what some of those things are, but because this was such a big group, he just told us what his classes came up with.

So here are some things that his classes came up with:

1. Drinking coke. There are those who don't see anything wrong with drinking Coke or Pepsi and then there are those who would never lift a can to their lips.

2. White shirts. Some people are adamant that men MUST wear a white shirt to church and then there are those who wear a shirt of color.

3. Wearing nylons. Some women think that you should NEVER go to church with bare legs.

4. Traveling on Sunday. Hey it's no big deal to travel on a Sunday, right? I mean, come on, we're on vacation and we only have so many days and so we have to travel on a Sunday. Then there are those who don't think we should take a vacation from obeying the commandments so that the Lord won't take a vacation from us when we are in need of something.

5. Wearing shorts. Some church members feel that as soon as you have gone through the temple that you should NEVER wear shorts ever again, because no matter how you sit or how long the shorts are, you can see potentially see your "Rocky Mountain Surfer Suit" (mormon secret code words for "g------s")

We could go on and on. I'm sure that you can even think of some more examples, but I will end here.

So, now we have these coke-drinking, blue shirt wearing, short shorts people who travel on Sunday despising the non-coke drinking, white shirt wearing, stay-at-home on Sunday, nylon donning people who are judging the coke drinkers.

Bro. Wilcox boiled it down to this which is what Paul was trying to teach the people. We should base our decisions on charity and not rights. Do people have a right to wear blue shirt to church? They absolutely do! But if they know that it might bother someone, why not choose to wear a white one? Does someone have a right not to drink Coke? They absolutely do. But they should not judge or make someone else feel wrong for doing so.

Do we have rights to do certain things? We absolutely do. But if we know that it will cause contention with others, we should be charitable in what we decide to do. This is the key to having a more Zion-like society and the answer to the question "Can't we just all get along?"
I LOVED this class and this thought.

Phew! There you go Shaila! Wow, this post was so long that I've really worked up a good sweat. I think I'm going to go to the frig and get me an ice cold Coke.

Out to lunch!

Super quick! I am in Utah at the moment. Red, I was in Draper just this morning and thought of you! Tomorrow I fly to Sacramento for a conference for my work. I have so many things that I want to blog about but no time. Check back soon though...lots of posts when I get back!

Happy blogging everyone!

Super Heros

This is the Spider Man that I remember!!

When I was growing up, I really, really loved Spider Man. I would always watch the cartoon on Saturday mornings. Wow. Saturday morning cartoons. Remember them? I know that they still have cartoons on Saturday morning but they just aren't like they used to be. Don't you agree? I mean, Stinky and the Pee Brain or whatever that cartoon is, doesn't COMPARE to the cartoons that we watched as kids. Gosh those were good days and good cartoons!! Anyway Spider Man has always been my super hero of choice.

With that in mind, I wanted to share an excerpt from my son's last email from Brazil. We always look forward to and treasure Wednesdays because that is the day that we get to hear from him. Anyway, here is something he said in his last letter:

"It hit me today a little bit. I have less than a year left to be a missionary. We went to the temple and just walked past the guard and the gate, and no-one was there in front so I stopped, and said
"Don't we have to talk with someone, or something? My companion said, "Elder, We are missionaries, we can do anything! That is when it hit me. Its like if super-man knew that one day he would stop being super-man. But then comes super-husband, super-dad, super-otherstuff. Isn't life great being super!" (member of the Church)

It hit me that we are all super heros in our Heavenly Father's eyes. We are being super husbands, super mom, super wives and super people. You all are super moms. Not because you bake your own bread, sew all your children's clothes, have a five course home made meal for dinner every night, have an immaculately clean house, or don't have an ounce of fat on your body. You are a super mom because you are raising your children with morals and value. You are a super mom because you are teaching your children about the Lord's true and restored gospel. We are all super heros because we are doing the best we can and because we are our Heavenly Father's children and a member of His kingdom.

So a big shout out to all my blogging buddies. Y'all are now my FAVORITE SUPER HEROS!

"My" General Conference

Did you all enjoy "my" General Conference this weekend? I am sure that you are appreciative that I was gracious enough to share it with you. I'm kinda like that. So willing to share. Willing to share with you all the lessons that can be learned at the feet of the Apostles. Willing to share the "ah hah" moments when the spirit speaks directly to your heart. Willing to share the realization of areas where we are lacking and then vowing to be better.

More than ever, I felt like this conference was JUST FOR ME! So many times, things were said that were applicable to me in a very personal way. On Saturday, Elder Wirthlin had me laughing and then Elder Holland had my crying. On Sunday, my two favorite talks were from Elder Eyring and Elder Hales. Elder Hales talk to me is up there with Pres. Benson's talk on "Pride" and Pres. Bednar's talk on "Not Being Offended".

My favorite quote though of the whole conference came from Elder Wirthlin's talk. In light of what we are going through on a personal basis, this is now my personal mantra. "Come what may. And love it!"

So how was Conference "YOUR" conference? What was said that was spoken directly to you?

Perspective on Problems

I have been catching up in the blogging world and after reading Lisa's blog, it reminded me of an experience that I had years ago. There is no doubt that as parents we would much rather suffer the hardship, pain, anguish, heartache, fear or afflictions ourselves rather than watch our children have to suffer through these things.

I am a 13 year breast cancer survivor. I have endured chemotherapy, radiation and a double mastectomy. My children were only 9 and 6 when I was diagnosed. I had the same fears as "The Frump" that I would leave my children without a mother to love and care for them. My cancer was rare and wild and I was given only a 40% chance of living.

My cancer was aggressive enough that it made me eligible to be able to have a bone marrow transplant. I live fairly near the City of Hope where this procedure would take place but I needed to have a consultation first. On the day of my consultation I walked into the lobby of the City of Hope and found the room to be fairly gruesome. There were many patients in various stages of their cancer. Some were extremely ill and slumped in wheelchairs. Some had masks over their faces. (As a cancer patient you are very susceptible to disease and need to be careful about being around other people that are sick) Some people had no hair, some were obviously wearing wigs, some had sickly looking hair and then there was me who just wore a scarf over my bald head.

I sat down and waited for the receptionist to call my name. As I looked around at the others who were experiencing the same disease that I was, a little girl caught my eye. She was about 9 years old and was wearing jeans and a baseball cap with a long blonde braid hanging out the back of her hat. There was something about the braid that I thought looked funny but couldn't really see anything obvious. She was with her mother and I remember thinking that I would never bring a child to a place like this because it was pretty scary for a child as young as her.

I continued to watch her and her mother and then starting really looking at the little girls' braid. It finally dawned on me that the reason why her braid looked strange was because it wasn't a braid of real hair, it was a braid made up of yarn. She was bald underneath her baseball cap and I realized with heartache that she wasn't there with her mom, but that her mom was there with her.

Immediately my heart overflowed with gratitude that it was me that was dealing with this disease and not one of my children. Parents that have to endure watching their children deal with life threatening diseases or debilitating situations have a guaranteed spot in heaven as far as I'm concerned. I can't think of too many worse things in this world.

My prayers go to Lisa and all others who are having to deal with scary health issues with their children.

Oh and I decided not to go ahead with the bone marrow transplant. But that's a story for another day.