Friday, October 31, 2008

Worst Mommy Moments

In a previous post, Mother Goose made a comment that at times she feels like she fails desperately at being a mother. I too have felt this way many, many times. After reading her comment, it reminded me of a relief society lesson where the teacher asked ahead of time for us to admit our worst mommy moments and then she read them anonymously. So I am now confessing mine. MAJOR CONFESSION TIME.

When my son, who is on mission, was a little boy he said some word or made some noise that was inappropriate ( I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS NOW!) and wouldn't stop. I tried everything. Ignoring him, rewarding him positively when he wasn't doing whatever it was that was bothering me, but he wouldn't stop.

One day I was telling a friend about my terrible, awful, horrible problem and she said that when her kids do things like that, that she puts a drop of tabasco sauce on their tongue. That was it! I WAS GOING TO DO IT! (Forgive me Father, for I have sinned) That night, just like clockwork, off goes my son. I took the bottle of tabasco sauce and was going to put a drop on his tongue and you know the little plastic thing in the bottle that keeps it from pouring out? Well, it fell out and I ended up pouring massive amounts of tabasco sauce into my little boy's mouth. He started screaming and gagging and crying and I started BAWLING! His mouth was on fire (I am crying now just thinking about it)
and we ran to the kitchen to get some water and some ice.

WHAT KIND OF MOTHER WAS I? WHAT KIND OF MOTHER DOES THAT TO HER LITTLE SON? Well, I found out later that this friend who suggested this torture in the first place, would put just a dab on her finger and then put it on their tongue. She neglected to tell me about that minor detail the first time.

Boy, did I feel like a failure. I had failed miserably and it still bothers me to this day. But it has now turned into my son's favorite thing to tease me about. We actually have this "tabasco" connection with each other. For years, every Christmas I would buy him a Tabasco tie. He has tabasco boxers, shirts, cups, you name it. It is now a very special thing between us. I tease him that he is a HOTTIE! Except no Tabasco ties on his mission. But I will have on ready for him when he gets home!

I have failed miserably as a mother many times since then although probably not quite as bad as this. But here is a scripture that gives me hope: D&C 117: 12-13

12 And again, I say unto you, I remember my servant Oliver Granger; behold, verily I say unto him that his name shall be had in sacred remembrance from generation to generation, forever and ever, saith the Lord.

13 Therefore, let him contend earnestly for the redemption of the First Presidency of my Church, saith the Lord; and when he falls he shall rise again, for his sacrifice shall be more sacred unto me than his increase, saith the Lord.

In verse 13 it states "WHEN HE FALLS". Not IF he falls, not MAYBE he will fall, not he MIGHT fall, but WHEN he falls. Our Heavenly Father knows that we are not perfect and that WE ARE GOING TO FAIL MISERABLY. But in verse 13 it also states that he will "RISE AGAIN". There's our challenge. After we feel that we have not been the best mother or the best wife or the best friend, or the best daughter or the best member of the church, we need to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and try again. BECAUSE in verse 12 the Lord states that Oliver's name "shall be had in sacred remembrance from generation to generation.

As mothers in Israel if we have done our best I too believe that our names will be held in sacred remembrance from generation to generation. Even if we do have an affinity for tabasco sauce!

Okay moms, time to fess up. What is the WORST thing you have done as a mom?


McEwens said...

To me that scripture is such an interesting one, cause of most all the people listed in the Doctrine and Covenant, he is one of the least known.

If anyone knows of my failures as a parent, it is you. I think not telling Josh, hey bud, what ever you do, NEVER jump out of a moving car! Or Jason, hey never play hide and see near mirrors, that way you wont slash your arm to the bone!

Deb you really ARE one of the greatest moms I know! You are my hero!

You taught me a great many things about being a parent!

Sure love you.. I hope you know just how much!

da Bergs said...

Deb, I always love your posts!!! This is another great one! I love being a mom but not nearly as much fun as I wish I would have been! I hope to make up for that with my grandkids (one day!) THANK YOU for this great post! I hope all is going well for you... you have been on my mind!

Mechelle said...

This is a great post. WOW!

You are a great mother and we all mess up. The plastic cap falls off of all of our lives.

Thanks for the scripture.


Jan said...

Great insight and scripture. I loved it. We do become so hard on ourselves. The tabasco thing is insanely sad. I bet it did eat on you but at least you guys joke about it now.

I have criticized way to many times when they were little. I wish I would have just known how to be a better mother and look for the postitive more in those moments. We all have the wish I did it different. But then that is why we learn as mothers and that is why our kids have to rise above what they have endured right.

Thanks for TREATING me today. Love it and it tasted so good.

Rosehaven Cottage said...

You know, day before yesterday I was pondering about the fact that even the people of the city of Enoch had to have had times when they made mistakes, tripped on something, or fumbled their words. What made them a Zion people wasn't their lack of mistakes, but how they dealt with them. I think you and your son are example of how you deal with your mistakes in a Zion-like way.


Alyson (New England Living) said...

Love this post because it's true. We all fail at times. Thanks for being brave enough to share yours!

sleepless in cyberspace said...

One Sunday morning I was blogging before I got ready for Church. The kids were being loud and detsructive and annoying, and Husband was sleeping in. They started hitting and chasing one another. Big brother had taken Little one's blanket. I took the blanket and frustratedly snapped it in the air, yelling at him to be nice. A fringe of the blanket hit Big brother. It hurt him.

My lowest of lows.

Melinda said...

This is a great post. I have to say that there isn't one traumatic incident for me with my children. I often feel like I should have been better about all the things we are counseled to do with our children. You know the things that it seems everyone else seems to have no problem incorporating into their busy schedules. Family Prayer, Family Scripture time, Fasting as a Family, Family Home Evening, Family Council. Sometimes I wonder does it count if we tried? Is it enough that we made the attempt? Does it matter that I really wanted to do all of these things. Being consistant with all of these things was a constant struggle. Would I do anything different? Yes, I would have tried harder, I would have perservered. I would have been more dilegent. I would have fought harder.

When I first read your question I wasn't going to comment because what sense is it to dwell on past mistakes. Now that I see what I wrote I guess I have alot of regrets. However, in many ways I know I was a great mom and I will be an ever better Nana. That is the best we can do. Just do better with what we know.

The writer and the singer said...

Thank you for the comment and I do enjoy reading your blog. Love the scripture quotes and your insights. I don't have a worst mommy moment, yet, but I am very grateful that Heavenly Father didn't expect us to be perfect and that because of that he provided Christ and the Atonement and many chances for us to mess up and keep trying.

Pedaling said...

i've raised a few kids and continue raising some yes i have my fair share of worst mommy moments....
always trying to do better.
i loved this post the insight and the scripture to go with it.
what i loved most about your moment was that after all these years you two could kinda joke about it--a little inside joke between the 2 of you...that's what we should all do...mess up, repent, forgive, do better and then don't take ourselves too seriously.

Anonymous said...

thank you for the scripture references! i always love your posts!!!!!! seriously!!!!


that is NOT too were sorry and you had good intentions. and now you two can laugh about it together. sounds to me like you have been a WONDERFUL mom!!!!

BulldogMama said...

Don't be too hard on yourself Debbie, I know you are and were an amazing mother and would have walked over hot coals for your kids. Look at the name of your Blog! You did it right. Don't ever doubt that. I can think of a few funny moments when my kids were little having to do with food they wouldn't eat and stuff like that. At the time it was serious but now it's funny. And as mothers we need to forgive ourselves and remember we did the best we could at the time. Now that we are older and wiser we're different people. The hot sauce thing doesn't work anyway they just learn to love hot food! hahaha

Redhoodoos said...

I absolutely KNOW you are an incredible mother.

Oh Deb, this is an awful experience I had with my son Connor. When he was a newborn, I brought him home. About a week later it was time for his first bath. I was a new mom and didn't know he would be slippery. I had him in a little baby tub and I picked him up to get his back and I dropped him. It was only a couple of inches - but oh I cried! I have felt horrible about this all these years. Even now I feel like crying and have highlighted my comment to delete it about 3 times now. We live and learn, right? I suppose we all have regrets. Great post, as usual. You are wondeful.

Mother Goose said...

oh dang, i'm embarrassed and that pic is scary but I am sure I look like the demon mother when I get possessed and in my demonic moods!

Rey and Meegan said...

That is interesting you wrote this post.
Now that all of our kids are gone, for some reason I keep thinking about all the mistakes I made. I am feeling very repentant and sorrowful. It is humbling.
Thanks for the scripture.
Take care.

RhondaLue said...

ahhh too many too count! I'm always striving to do better hopefull that matters!

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